so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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