sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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