I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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