Whod you bang
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
