I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
