He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
