Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
