Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He? As in you personified your dick?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
