i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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