can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
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Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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