I'm gonna have a badass scar
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
