Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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