sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
