Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
