Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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