woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
