last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
