Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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