nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
