then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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