Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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