Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
