apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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