Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
