id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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