they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
