I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
