well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
