He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
