My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
