your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
