I wish i was in the wii world.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
