I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
