ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
