It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
