When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
