If that was your dad, he is hot
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it's like heaven, but drunker
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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