I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
