smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
