sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
