can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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