Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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