i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize