so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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