I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
