No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
