i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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