i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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