He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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