I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
