i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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