Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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