I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
