Dual....:-)
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
