It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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