6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
