What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
