I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
