Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Vodka?
Forever.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
