Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
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All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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