Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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