we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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