My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize