Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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