There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
