You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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