I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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