absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
