the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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